today i ate fruit and cake, sewed pom poms on my bag and started teaching myself to crochet. 

might be the sun or just a good day, but i feel really chilled after reading my cards last night and feeling like i have some back up (whether this is from myself or external sources i feel is almost irrelevant) and clarity. i feel like it's not a coincidence that i took an online chakra test that showed my throat chakra is extremely open, and then later my cards showed that recently my throat charka has been very open and i have been speaking my truth, and that i should carry on doing this. i feel like this is what i wanted and needed to hear, along with other very accurate and reassuring readings.

naice outfit

other than the generalisation that all homophobia is caused by this, this is awesome and i'm so glad someone else has put into words concepts and feelings that i didn't know how to

first dress like this n heels i can remember buying since i was a teenager. it feels guilt ridden but fresh

Ann's amazing crocheted scarf on Great British Sewing Bee

deffo a project for summer when i have time to understand this youtube vid - so complicated that it will be ready in time for next winter

A friend got me some Lush goodie goodie presents with her 50% staff discount - i want to buy EVERYTHING from there now.

colour supplement, dark yellow

so nice - use a tiny bit straight onto your skin as thicker concealer, or mix with face moisturiser to get your perfect colour and thickness. there are so few ingredients, the first being fresh rose petal infusion. feels so light on fresh on ma faace, lasts ages, and only around £8 without discount

massage bars, wiccy magic and therapy

amazing massage bars that are made of delicious oils n stuff that melt at skin temperature. so, have a rub over someones back/arm/whatever to get some oil going and thats that. so much easier than oil from a bottle! and the wiccy magic one smells like sexy chocolate

bath bomb, the comforter

it's pink, has sparkles in it and smells so strongly like blackberries. perfect. bath bubbles and water turn pink so you can soak like a princess unicorn fairy

fun, orange and mandarin

feels like playdough, smells so strongly of orange starburst sweets, and is generally FUN. works as shampoo, conditioner, clothes soap, bubble bath etc. comes in biodegradable wrapping (that you've gotta store it in otherwise it will smoosh all over your shower when it gets wet. OR Lush sell special Fun tins). you only need the tiiiniest bit in your hand to work up into a lovely silky creamy lather. so good for shaving legs and my sister reckons the smell of the pink flavour lasts on your skin for days

it's all genuinely free of animal testing, and most products are vegan. given Imperial College's recent scandal about their disgusting breach of guidelines when testing on animals, i feel like i'm not naive enough to trust that animal testers will even stick to the barely humane codes of conduct they are given. the same goes for 'free range' meat etc. so if you don't trust it, don't go near it. i'm going to start the transition to make all of my products LUSH. the staff know everything there is to know, and it all smells delicious. no downside

i ♡ LUSH - it's inspired me to consider what i put on my body as well as in it

I'm trying to have a high raw foods diet at the moment, and thought it would be a good idea to keep track of it here so i can look back and remember what worked and what didn't/what was too expensive/tasted good etc...

http://leijaturunen.com/764/raw-food-for-beginners-leijas-tips-advice/ Leija gives a really helpful explanation to the benefits of eating raw and loads of tips. I feel like the main reason i'm doing it is to just feel good - to feel like i'm working with my body and making it happy.

I've been trying to maintain this diet for about 1 1/2 weeks and it's been lovely and easy so far. I'm approaching it as recommended by clued up women; raw up until late afternoon/evening, and then whatever i fancy as long as it makes me happy and it includes some carbs. When i feel i can afford it, i buy salmon on offer from Sainsburys and have a hunk every evening with rice/noodles/potatoes etc. BUT i've heard that once you've had your carby cooked meal, it's not a good idea to eat fruit/veg again afterwards. apparently the main meal will take longer to digest than the raw food,  meaning if you ate fruit etc afterwards it would all sit in the stomach for too long and get all fermented and gross. you don't want any hold ups in it being processed or it's just not great for you.

The only kinks i need to work out so far are:

- keeping costs down. i've already started by putting the smoothies on hold until i figure out the cheapest way to make them
- continuing to eat raw when i'm not at home. i went to Bath with friends this weekend and although they're very healthy girls themselves, i found it hard to work my way around getting lunch when we were eating out. i don't feel like this is a problem for just one weekend, as we did have very fruity breakfasts, but if it was for, say, a week, i would want to have a plan of how to get around it.

The benefits i've felt so far are mostly mental:

- i feel really happy and proud of myself that i can fill my body with such colourful, healthy, natural living things. I'll still eat pizza and crisps in the evening if i feel like it, so i don't feel like i'm depriving myself of things i like, but on the whole i feel less inclined to buy really unhealthy shit because my mentality towards it has somewhat changed.
- my friends commented this weekend that my skin is very clear and glowy, which i hadn't noticed myself but to be honest i don't usually  notice things like that until someone else points it out. Now that they've said it i've realised that i have been feeling like i'd much rather go out in hardly any foundation. I feel like whether this is because my skin is more fresh or because i just feel good is irrelevant.
- I also think i've lost little bits of excess fat here and there. my tummy feels more flat and surprisingly my thighs seem a bit slimmer which is something i went to ridiculous, mentally unstable and unsustainable lengths to achieve when i was younger. I don't feel like being 'skinny' is universally good or attractive anymore, and i don't aim towards it. During first year i actually did i 180 and was really into firm chunky legs and big bums. Anyway - I'm really enjoying how it feels to be in my body, because i feel like the little bit of fat i have lost didn't need to be there. Personally, for me, it was definitely a result of not eating as well as i can do.

The only thing that i don't enjoy in terms of my body on the outside, is that it seems like my ass has gotten smaller. I've come to the sad conclusion that when i loose fat, it seems to go from my badonk (that's just personally where i'd like it to sit on me). But this definitely isn't a big issue, and might just encourage me to get back on the Davina workout DVD, straight to the bum section.

Here's what i've eaten today, as an example of my lunches at the moment:

lettuce, 1 pear chopped, 1 apple chopped, sultanas, walnuts,

strong cheddar grated and thinly sliced,

big sprinkles of shelled hemp.

This huuuuuge salad is delish and filling. It's great that i can work shelled hemp into it easily, as the benefits are brilliant. Shelled hemp is really high in protein, contains omega 3, 6 and 9 which are important fatty acids that maintain a healthy heart and immune system, magnesium which is beneficial for bones, teeth, metabolism etc, amino acids which are the central building blocks of protein, fibre, and iron which is very important for me. The makeup of shelled hemp supposedly mirrors our 'natural' diet, so i'm gunna assume my body likes it.

Feeling lovely with fresh air & incense in my room full of plants.