☼: July 2012

Not being at uni and having something creative given to me to do every day has meant slipping back into sleeping until 3pm, watching TV and internet shopping. All three are a brilliant way of wasting time until the next thing i'm looking forward to comes along. The recognition that i'm wasting my own time makes me sad - when i'm next swamped with work and can't chill with friends, my mum and my sister, I'll wish for this situation back. I could be spending all my time doing constructive, creative, self-inspiring things, but my ego would prefer something less challenging, more shallow.
Getting the motivation to make yourself happy and powerful and the best 'you' is actually really difficult. People find it difficult for different reasons, but I suppose I do because I feel like I have a lot of potential, which for some reason is daunting, so my ego makes creating interesting things for myself to do seem like effort.

I promise myself that I will spend more hours of the day hooping, walking, writing, baking, cooking, reading, thinking, singing, seeing people I like but don't make enough effort with, learning, outside.